Sanity is Quite Simply Overrated
by Nemesis13
Summary: Earth died, muggles and magicals had warred and damned themselves into oblivion. The only survivor was the less than sane Harry Potter. Eventually he stumbles upon the Veil of Death, on a whim he decides to walk through and soon awakens in his cupboard under the stairs as one Harriet Potter. The Marauders shall ride again, led by a not quite all there witch. (Black Family revival)
1. Prologue

**This is an experiment switching between first and third person perspectives, if it is confusing I apologize, feedback is welcome**

* * *

So I guess introductions are in order, eh? Well fine, I can deal with that I suppose, I was never very good at outright lying regardless. Misdirection and manipulation? Most certainly, I was a master of the art. You couldn't survive the childhood I lived through without learning such skills, and I'll forever be thankful for Dudley taking pity on me and teaching me his abilities to manipulate adults.

Outright fabrications? Eh, I left those up to Hermione, she was after all the most clever and ruthless of us all. Ron and I had actually made several jokes that were not quite really jokes about our bushy haired friend over the years, on how she would be the most likely of us to become the next Dark Lady, Lord, whatever. Her intellect, magical prowess, and willingness to force her opinions on others kind of made a strong case for our argument.

We hadn't been wrong, in the end, but she had only taken up the mantle to save the rest of us from the muggle storm kicked up by Voldemort, and NATO along with the UN learned to tremble at the name of Hermione Granger. She didn't enjoy it, which is probably why she lasted so long, didn't fall into that retarded sado-masochism thing that Tom indulged in, and being the genius woman she was she made the muggles bleed for every magical life they took.

Right, drifting, it happens when you're as old and unhinged as I am, but you get used to people indulging in your idiosyncrasies when you're the magical equivalent of a M.I.R.V. and their only hope for survival when their Lady finally fell to enemy fire.

Where the fuck was I? Oh, hello, my name is Lord Hadrien James Potter-Black, of the Most Ancient and Noble Houses of Black and Potter. Please, just call me Harry Potter, I hate all that pretentious bullshit, only reason I legally filed it to begin with was to take the mickey out of Draco. Nominally because his son was shagging my daughter, but that wasn't outright stated, because honestly neither of us were sure who was more disturbed by the coupling.

Oh, right, the end of the world, that thing. See the problem with the Statute of Secrecy was that it was all well and good before the creation of CCTV networks and the internet. Muggle-born, and Half-Blood magicals got that they had to be careful, learn where there was no camera overlap and slip through the shadows mixing into the crowd and all that.

Pure-bloods?

Nope.

They signed the death warrant on our people in the late 90's, it wasn't the apparating about, or dressing like they were going to a fucking renaissance fair. No, it was the idiots who liked to go to the park, imperio a lovely young lady, rape her till she was bloody and obliviate her that caused the initial problems.

Nominally, because A.)CCTV Cameras, B.) Mobile phones they didn't realize existed much less that they were still running, C.) Satellites, and D.) Righteously pissed off muggles who had every reason in the world to demand murder.

It was all kind of unfair really, to the rest of the magical world that is. The governments in Eurasia, the Americas, and Australia had all adapted to the times, it was our little isolated island that fucked everyone over.

It wasn't a slow build up, not at all, why would it be? They knew the magical governments had been playing with their minds for hundreds, if not thousands of years, and so they needed to strike hard and fast.

Voldemort stopped being a problem on June 1, 2003 when a tactical nuclear bomb was dropped on Diagon Alley during a Death Eater raid. Horcruxes didn't really matter when everyone who would bother resurrecting your pale necromatic ass was atomized with you, along with thousands of innocent civilians.

The attacks that followed were swift, brutal, and effecient, primarily because, surprise surprise, dispossessed muggle-borns pointed the soldiers at where to hit the hardest. It would have been quite the coup if it hadn't been for one Hermione Jean Granger.

Unbeknownst to the rest of us she'd been studying muggle tech her entire school career, and had been modifying wards and spells to deal with them. What was most important was a passive shield spell that dissolved super-sonic objects, thus negating bullets as a threat. Second, was a cleansing ward that removed the threat of radiation poisoning.

This was an amazing boon, but only prolonged the fighting further increasing the lose of life on both sides. It didn't really matter near the end though, the muggles had popped enough nukes world wide to irradiate the air itself, and the magicals had unleashed so many unearthly horrors in their desperation to survive that... Well...it was best not to speak of them.

Hermione died when the muggles dropped a fifty megaton nuclear bomb on Edinborough while she had been attempting to negotiate peace. The resulting fallout killed the British isles, and in their rage the surviving witches and wizards invaded the continent and just started killing anyone who got in the way.

Ron and I were on the front line.

Morally, we were wrong, but emotionally, the woman that we both loved, who had been our balance point for years, had been murdered while suing for peace in a move that also killed our homeland. We were going to make the _world_ suffer for that transgression.

And we did, then Ron died, then Neville, Dean, Daphne, Draco, Charlie, James, Rose, Lily, Hugo, Scorpius, Albus...in the end everyone died, everyone but me.

The muggles figured it out in the end, how horrendously they had fucked up trying to commit genocide, but it was too little, too late. Those of us left despised the monkeys and killed them on sight, we didn't even ask questions anymore, why the fuck would we? Every time a witch or wizard tried to talk to them they were drugged and cut open within hours, if they were going to treat us like lab specimens, we would treat them like wild dogs.

This went on until I was the only one left, and wouldn't you know it? I can't die. Hooray for me, I'm immortal, I am the King of Ashes. I've actually made a game of it, hunting down live rounds and shooting myself in the head to see if it takes, or finding live nukes and setting them off point blank.

None of it works, I'm still here, everyone I ever loved and cared about is long dead, and the Earth molders in its radioactive glory around me.

Yay me.

Fuck, I'm so resigned to this fate I can't even feel self pity, and isn't that sad? Whatever, I'm visiting London again, it's where Luna and our daughter died. Ginny had been murdered two years earlier, along with Luna's first husband and her children, neither of us knew what to do with ourselves in the aftermath.

We ended up having sex, often, and she was soon with child so I proposed, because why not? Luna was one of my best friends and I honestly did love her and all her awkward strangeness. She hadn't even been in a magical district when she took Mary for a walk, the newborn still adjusting to the city air. Some Death Eater copycats had been torturing some muggles a dozen blocks away, so the military had dropped a five kiloton tactical nuke on the neighborhood in question.

That's when I lost my second and last family.

Honestly I'm shocked I'm not more insane than I already am, I mean the shit I've seen? Morgana do I miss them, my brothers and sisters in arms, my wives, my siblings of choice, my children, my...my everything.

But nope, Master of Death, I get to wander the fields of bones for eternity, yay me. I kind of go on autopilot as I head deeper into the ruins of London, and can't help but sneer when I see the crater that used to house the Ministry for Magic.

Shrugging, since I really had nothing better to do, I walked through the rubble and bones until I reach dead center, and pause in contemplation as I take in the intact arch that was the Veil of Death.

"Well...looks like the two of us survived when all others didn't? Hmm?" Scowling I began walking around the arch a few times before stopping midstep and grinned like the madman I am.

"Oh, Oh! Sirius! I could go see Sirius! Why not? Everyone's dead, the worlds dead, no more no more...so why not see if I can't find my Dogfather?!"

Really? Why not? Putting no extra thought into it I grinned and jumped through the Veil, leaving a dead world behind me.

* * *

Huh, death was a lot more stuffy then he thought it would be, interesting. Sitting up Harry examined his enclosed space and blinked once in surprise, in the faint light bleeding through the stairs he read a handwritten tag, and didn't quite know what to make of it.

'Harriet's Room'

"Huh..." Standing he moved to open the door but it was locked, which annoyed him immensely since locks should know better then to cross him, he'd made an example of enough of them thank you very much. Before he could put the fear of god into the obstinate little fuck there was a cacophony of noise that sounded like a bag of bowling balls running down the stairs, a few moments later the door was thrown open and an obese walrus of a man leered down at him.

"Girl, get started on breakfast now, or I'll make you wish you had moved faster when your betters gave you orders!"

"Huh," Harry stated as he left the cupboard under the stairs and entered the kitchen. "Huh," he stated yet again as he realized he really was in Number 4 Privet Drive, Surrey England once again. Which honestly, was a bit of a jaunt since it had been nuked about thirty years ago, how interesting.

So, more to occupy himself then anything Harry began making breakfast, and found some dark amusement in the fact that despite the decades that had passed he was able to crank out an English fry up like a boss. As the Dursleys waited at the table they watched him...err..her? The Harriet thing? He hadn't had time to check the plumbing, but whatever, they watched her as she prepared a plate laden down with bacon and eggs.

Once finished she turned on the garbage disposal and dumped all the food aside from her plate down the drain, the Dursleys looked apocalyptic but Harry didn't give a fuck. Turning off the disposal she plucked up her plate, walked to the table, sat down and began munching on a piece of bacon.

As Vernon began to turn a rather interesting shade of puce she finally spoke up using her 'Voice of Power' that Harry utilized on the battlefields of the damned.

"Alright assholes, this is how reality is going to go from here on out, I'm going to give you instructions, and you are going to follow them without question. The first person who speaks out of turn, loses their mother fucking tongue." With a flick of her wrist a butchers knife flew from the block in the kitchen landing in her hand gently, twirling it once she stabbed it into the table grinning sweetly.

"Any questions?" Heh, even if this was just a delusion caused by walking through the veil, the looks on Vernon and Petunia's faces made this all worth it. Why had she even walked through the veil again?

"Oh right!" She chirped out further scaring her 'family', "I'm going to go break my serial murderer godfather out of prison, so do me a favor and prepare the guest room alright?"

Taking her still mostly full plate off the table she dumped it on the floor and stamped on the food a few times before heading for the front door.

"Don't worry Padfoot, help is on the way!

* * *

 **Mostly sane jailbreaks are good jailbreaks right? Please R &R**


	2. Jail Break

_**October 31, 1989**_

 _You know I honestly have no idea why I did what I did when I got to Azkaban. I mean really I had every reason in the world to hate the bitch without pity, she had been a thorn in my side for years before Neville managed to decapitate her with a freaking machete of all things. But I-_

 _Ah fuck it, who am I kidding? I know exactly why I showed her mercy, Hermione had shown me the_ _Hades_ _contract when she had been sifting through the files in 12 Grimmauld Place and I had promptly thrown up when I had read the details of what the woman was forced to endure._

 _I was just a man, not always kind, but I did my best to be just, and this contract had been nothing short of slavery. The sick part was, that was putting it kindly. Reading between the lines, when Andromeda had given both middle fingers to her family and ran off with Ted her father decided to take extra steps to make sure the other contracts weren't nullified._

 _Narcissa wasn't a problem, because despite being a complete and utter prat she was in love with Lucius, for reasons I cannot even begin to comprehend. Even my later friendship with Draco couldn't shed any light on this subject, because he adored his mother and found his father to be abhorrent. Bastard had an amazing taste for wine though, he had this 1895 Merlot that..._

 _Wait...where the fuck was I?_

 _Right, anyway the problem was the eldest daughter, Bellatrix, who was quite frankly too opinionated, too individualistic, and too free thinking to leave unchained. So when the LeStranges came calling she was bound under a_ _ **Hades**_ _contract of all the bloody things, and lost her soul to become nothing more than a whore for her husband._

 _So, yeah, I know why I broke her out, I know why I killed ever single fucking Death Eater in that prison when I saved her and Padfoot, and I still don't know if it was a good idea._

 _Doesn't really matter, Fiendfyre kinda made it a moot point regardless. Makes me think of that quote at the end of Doom II, thank you Dennis for making me play it through. Now that Hell is destroyed, where are all the bad people going to go when they die now?_

 _Cleveland, most likely, would be my guess._

* * *

Azkaban was a sad little island in the middle of the North Sea surrounded by wards and curses that made muggle vessels avoid the area like the freaking bubonic plague. Harriet honestly felt that was a blessing, since she knew from experience that the Dementors would have gladly fed on any wayward sailors soul if given the chance, the vile demonic bastards that they were and all.

Their end had been one of Hermione's somewhat questionable yet happily ignored decisions, she'd placed the imperius curse upon a muggle general and had a five megaton nuke dropped on the isle in the hopes of if nothing else, she would manage to wipe out the worlds supply of soul vampires.

They had all been quite pleased that their Dark Lady had pulled it off, fuck you Dementors and your nightmare inducing presence.

Sadly, Harriet was short on nukes, or rather she was well aware there was still that cold war thing going on between the Warsaw Pact and NATO so really setting off anything bigger than a firecracker was likely a bad idea.

Pity, really, she had some ideas...

Right, jailbreak, not wanton destruction, bit more finesse than she was used to but ultimately just as satisfying.

Because, really, fuck the police.

Harry's animagus form was a peregrine falcon which was kinda awesome, though he would always be jealous of Neville's grizzly bear. His god-brother took great pleasure in mauling the shit out of anyone who got in his way, especially after Hannah's murder. Ron had gotten it worst though, becoming a terrier really wasn't all that useful in combat, as for Hermione and Luna...right, right getting distracted.

Being a falcon Harry was able to fly to Azkaban without worry, nor was he concerned with gaining a humans attention. This was 'peace time' Azkaban which meant there were no Aurors or Hit-Wizards maintaining the place, just the demonic aberrations known as Dementors and their inmates. Thankfully, as terrifying as Dementors were, they were actually fairly stupid, and ignored animal presences, thus why sneaking in and or out as an animagus was relatively easy.

Trick was though that for your average human being, magical or not, being in the presence of something as profoundly unholy as a Dementor kinda robbed you of sane thought and you typically didn't have the forethought to shift into said animagus form.

The exception, as it turned out, happened to be members of the Black family who were arguably less than sane to begin with, and even when unconscious at the time, automatically shifted to their animal forms when a Dementor approached. This saved there, relatively speaking, sanity, and allowed them to be wrecking balls on the battlefield after release, something the ministry either forgot or willfully ignored when they tossed Sirius and Bellatrix into their cells.

So still in his bird form Harry hopped down the halls and paused when he took in the neighboring cells, a massive emaciated Grimm in one, and a tired, bedraggled black cat in the other. For one moment Harry felt his heart seize but he managed to keep his breakdown from over powering him, primarily because he wasn't sure if little Harriet's body could handle one of his apocalyptic emotional explosions.

Pausing he considered that a moment, and felt about for Harriet and found nothing, he knew everything she did, but he was most certainly still himself, and he'd like to think more highly of himself that he'd not evict a young girl from her own body. Eventually he found her in his psyche, slowly but surely melding with him, she waved to him happily and he waved in return, awesome! Having friends in your head was the best! It was like having a party where the only people you actually cared about were invited.

Wait...Right, Trixie and the Dogfather.

Shifting back to her human form Harriet glanced about a bit before clenching her fist Vader style crumpling both doors bars like they were made of putty. Extending her hands she fired a stunner at both Bellatrix and Sirius before turning them into marbles and summoning them to her before dropping them into her pocket. Firing an over powered banisher curse at Bella's wall Harriet approached the new opening with a grin on her lips, turning to the fortress before her she hissed out one word as her fingers weaved about in a complicated dance.

"Fiendfyre."

Taking to her falcon form she quickly winged away from the doomed prison as chimeras, gryphons, dragons, basilisks, and many other unnamed fiery aberrations burnt the island and its denizens down to molten slag.

Maybe the muggles had been on to something there, purification through fire...ah well, whatever, time to play nurse for the next six months, Harriet hoped the Dursleys were up for some house guests.

* * *

Bellatrix was not sure what woke her up at first, maybe it was the scent of antiseptics, the scent of fresh cooked meat, the gentle hum of a childish voice, or the gentle ministrations of small fingers dancing across her skin. Regardless, she woke up to see a raven haired girl with terrifyingly vibrant emerald green eyes running a cloth down her legs while singing to herself quietly.

"Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come.  
Corporation tee-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday.  
Man, you been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long.  
I am the egg man, they are the egg men.  
I am the walrus, coo coo cachoo

Mister City Policeman sitting  
Pretty little policemen in a row.  
See how they fly like Lucy in the Sk-"

Cutting off the girl turned to Bellatrix and met her gaze evenly, she didn't say anything so the Dark Witch chirped out a greeting.

"Hello there, you have a beautiful singing voice." The girl grinned, which made her quite happy, she had a gorgeous smile.

"Thank you dear cousin, how are you feeling?" Cousin? Well with her family that really didn't narrow it down did it?

"Tired, and...sick, I feel like I have a deep chill in my bones..."

The girl nodded as she finished washing Bellatrix's legs and feet, followed with gently dragging a blanket over her, "Dementor exposure, seven and half years will do that to you."

Wut.

"What?!" She managed to spit this out and the girl could only stare down at her in sympathy.

"You've been Bellatrix LeStrange since the mid 70's, when I murdered your husband and voided the Hades contract your father put you in you reverted, rather than being in your early thirties you are physically and mentally around the age of eighteen. The bonus is you can't remember what you were forced to do and fall under the aegis of the Black family once again, and while a dick Arcturus is far more understanding then your father."

"What..." she asked in a plaintive tone, the girl smiled sadly as she bowed lightly before speaking again.

"I'm Harriet Potter, please call me Harry, and you're safe now, I'll clarify everything else later, I promise." With that she forced a vial to Bellatrix's lips and once swallowing the sweet fluid within, she slipped back off to blissful sleep.

* * *

"Fuck," was the first word that exited his lips, and earned a childish giggle from his left side. Glancing over he took in the young girl a moment and focused on her eyes, his own silver grey orbs widened in shock as recognition hit him, "Harriet!"

She smiled and extended a small hand that slid across his cheek and stopped when she pinched his chin lightly, "Hello Padfoot, how are you feeling?"

He snorted at that before collapsing back into his bed, "Well obviously worse off than I thought since I'm hallucinating my goddaughter."

She smirked and leaned over kissing his cheek causing him to freeze since he _felt_ the small girls lips graze his skin, "You aren't hallucinating my wonderful Dogfather. I broke you and Trixie out, then I burnt the fucker to the ground. A prank worthy of the Marauders don't you think?"

"Harriet?" He whimpered out, and she nodded once taking his calloused hand winding her tiny digits through his.

"Yup, it's me Padfoot, you're free, all the Death Eaters and...heh, Azkaban are gone, I burnt it down for you and Trixie, a send off of flash fried demons and damned souls. The best part is the Ministry has no idea who made it off the island before it melted back into the sea."

Sirius barked out a laugh then winced as the strain hit him, he was far far weaker than he was accustomed to being, "Oh Prongslet, how long was I gone?"

She scowled and glanced away, "You were arrested and thrown into Azkaban on November 1, 1981, it is now November 3, 1989. I broke you out on Halloween it just took you awhile to come to your senses..."

Doing the math he cursed out in anger, "Fuck!"

"Quite," the girl stated while nodding once as she turned back to her work, which happened to be applying bandages to a beautiful young woman who... Oh shit.

"Bella?" The girl paused, and met his gaze evenly while nodding.

"Yeah, I killed her husband and being the Lord Black that nullified their marriage contract and she reverted back to who she use to be. She still has flashes of her time with the LeStranges though, unfortunately, it usually involves her punching the walls and cursing in Welsh. By the by? Inventive, I sincerely doubt half of what she said was physically possible."

"Magic love," Bellatrix murmured, snorting Harriet leaned down and kissed her brow before offering her a vial of mint green fluid.

"Of course, I should never doubt you dear, now please take this and rest." Bellatrix didn't resist and once consuming the potion she drifted back off into the realm of Morpheus.

Sirius, finally managing to put enough bits and pieces together to form a coherent thought, asked, "We're...free?"

Harriet smirked and nodded, "Of both the ministry and Azkaban, yup," she popped the 'p' and turned back to her medical supplies. "Lord Arcturus is already on the warpath, you received no trial, and Bella was out of her mind thanks to his son's idiocy, so he's basically reading the riot act to the Wizengamot at the moment. It's going to be funny seeing the old bastards backpedal, almost makes the cost of it all worthwhile..."

Sirius froze at that, "Cost?"

The little girl worried her lip a bit before slumping her shoulders, "Err...either Bellatrix or I have to couple with...you...to ensure that the Black line doesn't die. It was the cost of guaranteeing your and Trixie's freedom."

"What," he whimpered out, she quickly shook her hands in front of her trying to assuage his emotions.

"Don't worry there isn't a time limit on this shit, and I'm sure Trixie wouldn't mind shagging you! I mean...if I have to do it I guess it isn't _that_ bad, you aren't exactly Snape repulsive or anything. Lets just wait till I'm, you know...legal? Still, Bellatrix is a looker, so-"

Sirius had passed out, a look of horror frozen on his face, Harriet could only sigh in annoyance.

"Yeah...that one was on me..."


	3. Tying Up Loose Ends

_**November 4, 1989**_

 _Do you know the thing I never got about the Death Eaters, the Black Thorn, the Disciples of Mayhem, the Republicans, and every other band of dark orianted assholes that started shit with the Regime?_

 _Rape, torture, and murder, murder torture and rape, rape, murder, and torture, it was always all the same with these uncreative assholes._

 _I mean fucking seriously, every time we went up against these purist dicks it was the first bit of bullshit they would spew out at our forces and did it ever get fucking tiring to listen to._

 _They would lock their sights on the most attractive woman in the squad, usually Tonks, Fleur, Gabby, or Ginny, and start spouting off about all the horrific things they'd do to said women once they killed all the men. Never once, in hundreds of sorties over dozens of years did any of these idiots pick up on the fact that said women used that monologue spacer they provided to summon up magic of truly horrifying scope to smite them all in a hilarious and efficient manner._

 _They_ _ **never**_ _caught on! I mean what the literal fuck!? Every single time one of our more violent ladies was assigned to a quick response team Hermione would just sigh and start preparing the paperwork for the collateral damage bills._ _ **That**_ _is how rote and routine the entire thing became, and it was both hilarious and sad all at the same time._

 _Ya know how many actual cases of capture and rape there were for our forces before the end? How many times the forces of evil actually got their hands on one of our delicate flowers and viciously tortured, raped, and murdered them in the confines of their super secret stronghold to show the good guys how powerless they really were?_

 _Fucking zero, because the women that led the front were just like the men who led the front, brass balled badass mother fuckers who fought to their last dying breath and took armies down with them if they deigned it necessary to fall in combat._

 _I think, honestly, that was one of the reasons I respected Bellatrix as much as I did, despite how much I wished her dead. 'Cause honestly, if she hadn't been sealed to that bastard Tom? I'd have married her myself, as long as Ginny said it was ok, I know Luna wouldn't have minded regardless._

 _What can I say? I always liked my women a little bit crazy, and alota bit badass._

* * *

Sirius heard voices speaking in hushed tones, and it didn't take a genius to know the childish, female voice was slightly contrite, and the older male baritone was highly annoyed. Still, he was just recovering from quite the shock so he did his best to convey the image that he was still passed out.

"I'm sorry," the female voice said, not sounding sorry in the slightest.

"Really? Really Harry? He's been locked in hell for over a decade and you decided to _prank_ him?!"

"He would appreciate, he's a natural prankster!" Her response sounded slightly offended, but even Sirius could sense the tint of worry in her tone.

"He _was_ before he was thrown into hell on Earth and forced to baste in his failures for years while having all happiness sapped from him! Girl he isn't like Bellatrix! He didn't have the majority of the damage siphoned off due to a goddess damned technicality, he is going to take some time to heal. That 'prank'? It didn't help!"

Sirius drifted off as he heard the girl sigh in resignation, "Ok...I won't do it again until he is fully healed Lord Arcturus."

When he came to again it was to the sounds of Led Zeppelin, specifically 'The Foreigner' which had been a favorite of Lily's, glancing to the side he saw who he assumed was Harriet throwing knives at the wall. That really didn't surprise him, if the male voice from earlier was who he thought it was he'd be forcing her to take up the Black Lady Art regardless. He had to resist the urge to laugh though, once he realized his Grandfather's image was what the girl was throwing her blades at, woman after his own heart there.

"Hey," he groused out, the little girl paused mid throw and turned her head to meet his gaze. Slipping the knives she had in hand into the expertly hidden sheathes scattered about her dress the girl approached him and took a knee as she ran a hand down the side of his face.

"Hey, umm...sorry for earlier, you don't have to marry anyone and you're not under any sort of contract or the like. Pettigrew was captured by the way, interrogated, and thrown to the Dementors already. You are free, Crouch's career is destroyed, and the Ministry is a laughing stock. Good times for all."

He chuckled darkly shaking his shaggy head slowly, "You pranked me."

She tilted her head to the side and nodded, "Yup," she stated, once again popping the 'p'.

He leaned forward and kissed her brow, "James would have been proud, so would have Lils, well played Prongslet." With that his tired head hit the pillow and he passed back out.

"Sleep well, Padfoot."

* * *

"What?!" Bellatrix sputtered out indigently as her Grandfather rolled his eyes yet again.

"As I said before, unlike Sirius who never received a trial, you _did_ as a LeStrange, and were found almost hilariously guilty for your crimes. You died, along with every other inmate in Azkaban other than Sirius, so you need a new identity, it is _far_ simpler than trying to free you legally.

She sputtered at that, "But as a half-blood?!"

The little girl who had been nursing her back to health chirped in at that, "Yarp, fucking deal with it, being a half-blood ain't that bad regardless. We're kinda awesome like that, ain't that right Arty?"

Lord Arcturus simply shook his head while pinching the bridge of his nose, "Girl...please, please, for once in your life, shut up with your inane prattling and let the adults talk?"

Said girl, Harry if she remembered correctly, made a zipping motion across her lips and leaned back as her Grandfather continued speaking.

"With my idiot son's contract voided thanks to this brat," he shot a thumb back at Harry who extended her pinky and pointer fingers and shook her fist violently for some reason, "you've reverted to your teens. It is much easier to just start anew rather then try and prove your innocence."

Bellatrix sighed at that, "And how will we accomplish this?"

She cringed as Arcturus and Harriet grinned as one.

"An adoption potion, actually. While your Uncle Alphard had unfortunetly passed during your stay in chateau Azakaban I have managed to retain a vial of his blood, you drink this and you'll become his daughter biologically and magically. Effectively you'll-"

"You're telling me that if I take that potion I'll no longer be related to Cygnus Black?"

Arcturus froze, glanced at Harriet who for her part shrugged in confusion, then turned back to Bellatrix, "Err...yes?"

"Done deal," with that she snatched the vial from his hand, popped the cork, and downed the potion. Even as she screamed in agony, she knew it would be worth it.

* * *

Harry blinked rapidly a few moments before turning her head away from the writhing form of Bellatrix to address Lord Arcturus, "Lord Black?"

He sighed, "Yes Lord Black?"

She smiled up at him angelically, "What the literal fuck was that?"

He sighed, "My son...sons really, were not good men."

"Uh huh," she stated as steam began roiling off the woman on the bed before them, "To the point that his own daughter would drink an unknown potion that supposedly replaced his status as her father with someone else without fucking questioning what was actually in the damned vial?"

"So it would appear."

She remained silent for a moment before spitting out an incredulous, "By the Morrigan your family sucks!"

He glared at her while sniffing disdainfully, "You're a member of that family too girl, don't forget."

She snorted while rolling her eyes, "And I'm bat shit insane, not saying much on our family's part now is it?"

There was nothing but the sound of silence for a time, until, that is, Arcturus sighed and shook his head, "It is such a pain in the side to insult someone who fully owns up to all their faults."

Harry unwrapped a sucker and stuck it into her mouth before gently patting the older man on his back, "There there, some day you'll grow up and be able to play with the big boys."

"I hate you," he seethed out.

"I know," she replied with a grin.

This was, after all, why they became such quick friends.

* * *

"I feel awful," Bellatrix groaned as she rolled over in her sweat soaked bed, a girls giggle gained her attention and she twisted her head to view Harriet sitting beside her in a reclining chair.

"You had your entire genetic code rewritten over a twenty four hours period so yeah, I'm not surprised, and no I'm not going to explain genetics to a pure-blood right now. Your name is Belladonna Trisha Black, the daughter of Alphard Black and Monique Delacour, who happens to be a French squib who was rather fond of your 'father' before her untimely death thanks to a car accident."

Tossing a stack of documents on the table Harriet grinned viciously as she leaned forward, her smile resembling a highly satisfied cat more than anything, "You're a free woman Bella, now what are you going to do with that freedom?"

Bellatrix whimpered a bit in the face of this little girl, and that only made said girls smile widen in anticipation.

* * *

 **This is fun, please review**


	4. He's My Best Friend, Deal With It

**_While she didn't help with the writing of this it is Lily approved so respect all ya all. Anyway, this is solidifying Insane!Harry and his relationship with the Black family, which is really amusing I've gotta tell you. There are no pairings at this point but I choose to clarify three points._**

 ** _Harriet looks at Sirius as a potential father figure_**

 ** _Harriet thinks Bellatrix is hot as hell_**

 ** _Harriet and Arcturus are best friends and no one is wrecking that for her_**

 ** _Read and review my friends!_**

* * *

 ** _December 17, 1989_**

 _I'm tired. I really am. It honestly isn't anything new though, I don't even acknowledge the nightmares anymore, or the faces of those I murdered staring at me in accusation as I toss and turn in my attempts at sleep. Insomnia and I thus have been long time friends and I doubt we're ever going to become_ _unacquainted, which is typical, really._

 _I can't even begin to guess how many people I blindly slaughtered in my rage after Hermione and Britain died, the kill count was probably somewhere between cancer and the second world war, and what did it get me? Everyone I loved dead, the world a smoldering cinder, and me left to suffer alone for eternity. The bitch of it was I couldn't even get drunk to try and drown it all out, stupid immortal body constantly healing , ugh._

 _Sad part? It was, technically, what I had been after when we began our little crusade, and as the dust didn't settle, thank you nuclear winter, I had a few decades to mull over it all as my sanity become a bit more...wobbly._

 _I was tired, and I had been so even before the wars, before taking up the mantle of leadership to guide my people after the second Blood War. Fuck, I had been tired when I was just a ten year old kid living the life of an abused house elf with the Dursleys. I was completely and utterly exhausted, and after it all my burning hatred for those goddamned purists and the muggles had managed to cool down to a baseline apathy._

 _I was tired, I was alone, and I just didn't fucking care anymore._

 _So when I stepped through the Veil of Death, and started over as Harriet, I initially just did whatever the fuck I wanted because, really, what the hell did I care? I was going to nurse Sirius, and, strangely enough, a de-aged rather hot as hell Bellatrix back to health, and we were going to make the world our play thing._

 _Because I just didn't care about the repercussions, I was tired of being the beacon of hope and light for the masses, and at the very least I'd have two people of questionable sanity to keep me company._

 _That's when Arcturus Black showed up at 4 Privet Drive, a bit drunk, a lot annoyed, and very very confused._

 _Apparently, once getting the news that Azkaban had melted back into the ocean he had cracked open an expensive bottle of scotch and downed half of it before heading into his office to stare morosely at the family tree tapestry on the wall. He'd been in the middle of toasting his recently deceased grandchildren, lamenting how he had failed his family so completely when he noticed, surprise, there were no death dates._

 _The Blacks are one of those odd ball family's that can date their foundation back to when wizards and witches didn't need wands, where they were all essentially like me, they just didn't have to forgo their sanity to become completely badass. With that they retained some very powerful enchantments that have lasted millennia set on a few objects, one of them being the Black family tree._

 _You_ _ **cannot**_ _trick the Black family tree. That duplicate Walburga was constantly burning people off of for not being terrible excuses for human beings wasn't anything of importance, and frankly Arcturus left the crazy bitch to it since if she thought she was literally disowning family in her mad ravings?_

 _Well, bully for her. It meant she wouldn't be bothering him, win/win in his books._

 _Wait, right, rambling, anyway the Black family is weird, by all definitions of the word, and they kept vials of blood from all family members for reasons I don't even want to begin to think about. Something tells me that the adoption potion we gave to Bella was one of the tamer uses but once again, not asking questions I don't want to hear the answer to._

 _Ignorance, as they say, is bliss._

 _So, using Bellatrix and Sirius's blood in a special artefact he tracked them down to me, confused, pissed, and oddly pleased._

 _I like Arcturus a lot, he is a complete asshole, unrepentant in his beliefs, and he gets me as I get him. We're both old men who saw everything we worked for, everything we loved, destroyed by fucking morons and bad luck, our dislike for muggles just kinda helped speed things along. So, for once, I didn't weave a mad tale for my own amusement, I was completely honest with him._

 _He summoned a house elf to get his penseive, and I dumped about thirty years worth of memories into it, and made dinner while he relived the highlights of my life. When he got out, he finished the bottle of scotch off and over dinner we discussed our plans for the future of our house._

 _Since, apparently, I was still Lord Black, as was he. Weird how that worked out, but not a bad thing in any case, since we both had a great many people we wanted to fuck with for our personal amusement._

 _I really need to make these journal entries shorter, eh, whatever, computer end log!_

 _Oh holy shit, I can watch Star Trek The Next Generation as it's airing for the first time, that's awesome! I didn't even think about that! I'm so getting Patrick Stewart's autograph, maybe John de Lancie too, iffy on that one. Not sure if he isn't really Q and I've got a policy about not pissing off omniscient beings._

 _Ah well, I'll be happy with Picard, I would rather not be cursed with immortality again, thanks much, one time around with that bullshit is more than enough for me._

* * *

Bellatrix, rather, Belladonna now, sighed as she tried to get Sirius to drink his nutrition potion, only resisting the urge to curse him due to her lack of a wand.

Stubborn dog.

"You need to drink this or you'll never get better you mangy mutt! Really, why are you being so resistant?!"

He sneered in return while turning his head away from his cousin, "Because it tastes like month old socks boiled with cat droppings."

Before Bella could reply a tiny figure stepped out of the shadows while cocking her head to the side, her smile was amused while her eyes clearly displayed open annoyance.

"The fact you know what those things taste like concerns me on multiple levels, but honestly Dogfather you need to listen to my Wicked Witch if you're going to be as mobile as she is in the coming months." With that Harriet Potter stepped past her abashed Godfather and approached Bellatrix, extending her hand she wrapped her small fingers around the crouching woman's chin and twisted her head to the side examining her eyes as if they were a museum piece.

Bellatrix was not amused by this, "Is there something I can help you with girl?"

Harriet stared at her a few moments longer before releasing her chin and shrugged lightly, "You have beautiful eyes, I've never met anyone with lilac colored eyes before. They're gorgeous and I wanted to remember them."

Blushing Bellatrix glanced aside while shrugging in return, "Can't control what you get from your parents now can you?"

Harriet grinned, her own unique emerald eyes shimmering with amusement as she turned away from the two Blacks while walking towards the house's exit.

"Ain't that the truth gorgeous? If, on the off chance that the Dursleys show back up while I'm gone, tell them to wait in the back garden. Ta, cousin of mine."

Miffed Bellatrix turned back to Sirius and jabbed her thumb into his side as she caught him trying to dump his potion into the flower vase, "None of that you little shite! If I have to drink these horrid things so do you!" Sighing she glanced back at the door as her little cousin met up with her grandfather, and wondered yet again why the old man treated the little girl as an equal.

As Harri followed Arcturus to his waiting Bentley she glanced up at the aged wizard and grinned widely before speaking, "We're going muggle eh? Surprising old man, what's the occasion?"

Opening the back door for her Arcturus rolled his eyes as he pushed her into the cab and shortly followed her sliding into the vacant seat.

"Simple, Belladonna is a Half-Blood now who needs to have muggle clothing to wear when she makes herself known to Britain proper. She can't be seen buying said garments for herself beforehand so we have to do so in her place."

Harriet stared at him a few moments before cocking her head to the side incredulously, "Wait...so you're making me go fucking clothes shopping with you to save face?"

"Yes," he stated flatly, her eyes began glowing a sickly shade of green as she sneered at him.

"Listen mother fucker-"

"I'm paying for the pizza and movie afterwords, of course," with that she deflated.

"Oh, all right then, as long as there is pepperoni on it."

Arcturus resisted the urge to smirk in victory at the petite witch's acquiescence. He was well aware of her weakness for small displays of familial kindness after all. While she was abrasive, annoying, and completely unpredictable, she was family after all.

It was like having little Dorea back all over again honestly, and he would never sacrifice being able to feel that blithely carefree aura for a second time. Never ever.

Blacks never turned their backs on their own, especially when their family made them feel complete for the first time in decades.

Coming to a halt before a shopping mall Arcturus stepped out of the now stopped car and offered his hand to Harriet who sneered a moment before meeting his gaze, once seeing the kind light in his eyes she stared at the asphalt with an abashed look and took his hand.

"Thank you, Lord Arcturus."

"Think nothing of it, Lady Harriet."

With that the two old men, one looking the part, the other very clearly being an adorable young girl, made their way into the muggle shopping center.

Fun fact, young Harriet's life was much like old Harry's, hence why their souls synced up to the point that they never had to fight over their body. They got each other, and would always get each other, so when walking through the mall they kept to themselves and walked closely to Lord Arcturus as he prowled towards an upscale clothing store without speaking.

They may be free of the Dursleys now, but they never really would be, but at least they had each other.

Upon entering the store Arcturus approached a saleswoman, and much to Harriet's shock he managed to not talk down to her, at least at first, as he handed her a slip of parchment with Bella's measurements on it.

"My granddaughter has been bedridden for some time and has only recently begun recovering from her illness, thus her need for clothing that will properly fit her, and why are you looking at us like that?"

Harriet rolled her eyes while smirking lightly, "Because you're an old man with an adorable little girl ordering rather racy undergarments and clothes for an older woman. Basically she thinks you're a loli-con and I'm you're victim."

Glaring at the now flushed saleswoman Arcturus shifted his gaze down to the grinning girl at his side, "Even if I had such proclivities, which I _don't_ , I would never stoop so low as to desire a bloody annoyance like you."

Harriet snorted at that while waving her hand in a dismissive manner, "As if I would be interested in your wrinkly old man dick to begin with."

Arcturus sneered at her while spitting out, "Insufferable brat."

She grinned in return, "Crotchety geezer."

"Insipid twit."

"Self important geriatric."

"Ankle biting troglodyte."

Harriet perked up at that then broke out into a giggle fit before returning her gaze to Arcturus, "Oh goddamn, good one."

He grinned in return, "Thank you."

The saleswoman glanced back and forth a few moments before uttering, "Ummm...Excuse me?"

Harriet sighed and looked up at the woman in annoyance, "What? Can't you see the adults are talking?"

The woman looked between the two in confused embarrassment before walking off to grab the clothes on the list. Arcturus turned to Harriet while raising one silver brow in question.

"Where we a bit much for her?"

She let out an amused scoff in return, "Do you honestly fucking care?"

Arcturus snorted while turning his gaze back at the counter, "Fair enough."

Once they acquired the clothes they had required, Arcturus ordered one of his house elves to take them to Bella and the pair of Black Lords walked down the street and eventually found a cinema. The movie they watched was Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

It was fucking awesome.

"I want a pistol," Arcturus stated as he swung his arm holding the equally amused Harriet's hand, the pair highly entertained at their evenings viewing.

"I'll see what I can do, I know some guys. So, Pizza?"

"Mario's," he stated flatly and before she could respond he apparated the two of them to Birmingham. Harriet looked like a flustered cat as she shook her head and glared up at the older man.

"Fucking hell you shit stain bastard! Don't fucking do that without fucking warning me!?"

Ignoring her tirade he pointed to the restaurant in question while shrugging lightly, "Their calzones are amazing, and I think you'd like their brown ale. Even if it will have to be watered down for your little girl liver."

Perking up at this she grabbed Arcturus's hand and dragged him along with her, "Well fuck you, you goddess damned bastard! Oh and you're forgiven, by the by. So about Malfoy, I've got a few ideas on how to make use of him..."

Lord Arcturus Black smiled, and followed the only person who had ever truly understood him into his favorite pub, completely ignoring the fact that she was a nine year old girl in body if not mind.

Best friends really didn't care about age, after all.


	5. Recognizing Ones Mortality

**Harry coming to several conclusions in this chapter, more fleshing out of Belladonna and Arcturus, and I promise Sirius will stop being a wallflower at some point. Honestly everyone knows he's a bit wonky and they just give him bright lengths of yarn to distract him with until his sorta-sanity is fully returned. Next chapter will be Christmas with the Blacks, including Andromeda, Nymphadora, and Narcissa, oh my!**

 **Please, if you enjoyed, do review!**

* * *

 _ **December 23, 1989**_

 _Honestly I'm shocked it took this long to happen, I mean, it really does makes sense, but it also is really not ok because it isn't just me riding in this meat suit, it is Harriet as well and frankly she has more claim to it regardless._

 _Still, like I said, the entire event made sense since over the decades of trying to find some way, any way, to end my existence I had managed to lose practically any semblance of impulse control. Found a nuke? set it off at point blank range. Find a zombie horde? Take those fuckers on with a pair of chop sticks. Run into a succubus? Let her shag my brains out and hope that death sticks this time. It goes on like that._

 _So, when a dangerous situation occurs, my first reaction isn't 'Could this be fatal?' it is rather, 'Will this finally kill me?'_

 _Not really the best thought process for an adorable nine year old girl who decided to take a walk alone at twilight._

 _I really do have the Devil's luck though, it could have been so much worse._

* * *

Belladonna would not admit to it openly but she was getting worried. Harriet had left earlier that evening to take a walk alone which she wasn't actually sure was a good idea to begin with, and said girl hadn't returned hours later still. Sirius was much in the same mindset, blaming himself and claiming he could have followed her in his animagus form to protect her despite his strict bed orders, Bella had simply swatted him on the head with a rolled up newspaper for that idiocy.

He was months from recovery if he ever wanted to actually have a fully functional body after his stay at chateau Azkaban.

Still, they were worried, because while the girl may be completely unpredictable, foul mouthed, likely insane, and disinterested in the opinions of her elders, she did care for them, and that felt...nice. Having family that cared, it was almost like having Andi and Cissy with her again...almost, not quite though. Harri really had no expectations for her to fulfill, there was no obligation for her to protect the smaller girl like she had for her sister's when Cygnus got into one of his moods, she was just...

Welcoming. It was almost novel, really, feeling wanted.

When midnight struck Bella finally had enough though, taking out the mirror her Grandfather had given her she summoned him and then slapped it face first on the table. He would have to come to her, this was after all important.

Five minutes later a rumpled and fuming Lord Arcturus stepped out of the fireplace of 4 Privet Drive looking incredibly annoyed.

"What is the matter with you!? You call me in the middle of the night then put me on hold? What could be so-"

Sirius ran up to him and practically whimpered out, "Harriet's been missing for hours and we have no idea where she is or what happened to her!"

Arcturus paled, but for far different reasons than his grandchildren expected, "Oh...bloody hell."

 _ **Five Hours Earlier**_

Harriet Potter walked down the side streets of Surrey lost in thought, tomorrow was Christmas Eve, and she still hadn't gotten anyone presents. It was...weird, thinking about such trivialities after decades of being alone, but it was...nice. Very nice. She had an idea what to get Bella, Arty already told her not to get him anything, like that would stop her, and Sirius was still...loopy...would he even realize it was Christmas?

Mulling this over a van pulled up next to her and the side door slid open revealing an interior she would generously call 'Probable Cause on Four Wheels.' An overweight man with a plastic smile extended a hand towards Harri while softly speaking to her.

"Hello little girl, would you like some candy?"

Harri raised an eyebrow at that, "Got any m&m's?"

He frowned then the fake smile came back, "Yes, of course."

"Fuck yeah I want some candy!"

 _ **Present Time**_

Shit shit shit shit. He needed to put a bloody bell around that girl's neck, seriously what was she thinking!? Arcturus knew Harri wasn't all there, he also knew she was the magical equivalent of highly unstable explosives in the form of an innocent little girl. _Anything_ could potentially set her off, and the end result could be either absolutely hilarious, or utterly terrifying.

Lamenting the fact that she had refused letting him take a sample of her blood ("Sorry Arty, blood rituals and I have a history and we don't talk anymore.") he stared at the clock and ran a hand through his hair wondering where his friend could be.

Eventually the front door opened and all three Blacks whipped their heads to the side to watch the small girl enter the home, clothes torn to shreds, covered in blood, face bruised, left eye swollen, and shaking colorful candies from a brown bag into her mouth.

Munching on said snacks Harri turned to her family as she raised a brow while talking around her food, "What's up?"

Sirius rushed her and pulled her into a tight hug while muttering, "Where have you been?!"

She shrugged, "I got kidnapped by some pedophiles."

He made a choking sound as Belladonna screeched out, "What?!"

Harri shrugged again, "I unkidnapped myself once I realized I wasn't getting any m&m's, speaking of which, want some?"

Yeah, that didn't go over well with her family, Bella snatched Arcturus's wand from him and began several rapid fire spells on her little cousin first vanishing the blood and then reducing the swelling on her face. She also 'serendipitously' cast a virginity detection spell and silently sighed in relief when it came back positive, eventually after nearly three dozen spells were cast Harri looked close to normal, though there was still some bruising around her eye.

Harriet for her part was staring at her fretting family with a slightly bemused look on her face, clearly touched at their concern while being equally amused by it. The amusement ended when Bella tossed her grandfather back his wand and carried the now struggling girl upstairs to take a bath, Arcturus frankly felt his friend deserved the indignity of the situation. Served her right for scaring everyone witless because she wanted candy of all the bloody things in the world.

Sirius landed on the couch and held his face in his splayed out hands before groaning out, "What am I going to do with her?!"

Arcturus shrugged, and in a brilliantly malicious moment smirked while tilting his head to the side drawling out, "And just think, she hasn't even hit puberty yet."

Sirius wailed into his hands, while his grandfather grinned.

Ah, it was good to have the family back together again.

* * *

After Harri had been scrubbed clean, dried, and had her hair properly brushed out, Bella had dragged her to her room and slipped her into a sleeping gown. Irritated because, seriously, seventy something year old war wizard here, thank you, Harri was about to tell Bella exactly where she could shove her fucking concern, sideways, on a goddamn tilt-a-whirl, when she was scooped back up in the woman's arms.

A bit lost at all this Belladonna pulled the covers of her bed back, laid down, and pulled Harri close while pulling the blankets over them.

This was...perplexing, to say the very least, eventually Bella whispered out a single sentence, "You saved us...please little cousin...let us save you?"

Something...cracked, deep inside of Harri at that statement, and...and she didn't know why, fuck Harry didn't know why but, eventually she pulled Bella closer and began wailing into her shoulder, and her cousin only pulled her closer as she further lost it.

That night was the first night in Harry, or Harriet Potter's existence, where they fully let their emotions go, and there was someone there to hold them through the night.

They would never forget this kind gesture. Ever.

* * *

Harriet woke up...content, opening her eyes she realized a moment later she was being cuddled like a fucking stuffed animal by Belladonna, but rather then lashing out, she sighed while shaking her head. Shimmying out of her cousins grip the ravenette jammed a pillow between Bella's arms and she began snuggling it soon enough.

Admittedly, Harriet thought this was adorable.

Hitting the loo and doing her business she glanced at the mirror and smirked slightly, Bella did good work, it hardly looked like she'd gotten into a massive knife fight with four men and force fed them their own dicks.

The woman had talent as a healer, something to think about later.

Hitting the kitchen she began a simple fry up when she noticed Arcturus crashed on Vernon's favorite chair, and finding great amusement in that she began leafing through the tea bags on the counter until she found her friend's favorite.

The fact that it was Earl Grey made her happy since she honestly viewed her friend as a more crotchety Picard regardless, she put the water on the boil and got to work. Eventually the smell of bacon awoke the old Lord and he sat up groggily while glancing about the room, recognizing his surroundings finally he stood and approached the dining table before taking a seat.

"You seem...chipper, this morning" he said as a cup of tea and a few of his favorite biscuits slide towards him with a twirl of Harriet's forefinger.

"Honestly Arty? I had the most wonderful revelation while slaughtering those muggles yesterday, and then...coming home, and everyone...everyone being so worried about me..."

She didn't cry or sob, but she did wipe away a few tears before turning back to the stove, "I...feel like I actually have some idea of where to take my life now. Or...oh...ok rather I have the freedom to have a choice now."

Arcturus took a sip of his tea while tilting his head to the side, "Freedom to have a choice?"

Harriet froze, she ignored the sizzling eggs and bacon, she ignored the teapot which had nearly reached its second boil, and she ignored the way her eyes glowed in a terrifying manner. Turning to meet her friend's gaze she nodded once, very slowly.

"Freedom of choice. When I was kidnapped, I didn't just waltz out of there Arty, I _fought_ my way out. In the end it was a slaughterhouse and it took me two hours to put myself back together enough to come home...before...before Bella did the rest..."

She stood there a few moments before sobbing into her hands, it took nearly thirty seconds for her to regain her composure, in which time Arcturus had risen from his seat and wrapped his friend in his arms as she did the same to him.

"I was so scared! You have no idea how exhilarating that felt Arty, no idea at all!"

She turned her doe eyed gaze up and met Lord Black's eyes evenly as she smiled beatifically, "I was scared to die Arty! I'm terrified of it! I fought tooth and nail because it hit me! I'm mortal...I can die, finally... I don't have to hunt it down anymore, when I'm done, I...I can finally fucking end it...but on my terms...finally...I can punch out when I want to..."

Arcturus rubbed his hand through her hair a few minutes before speaking quietly, "Do...do you plan on doing that any time soon?"

She giggled and slapped his head lightly before meeting his gaze evenly, "Fuck no you old codger, now that I know I can die? That I can finally have my epilogue? Fuck that shit, I'm ready to finally live my life to the fullest! What do ya say Lord Black? Ready to shake up the world like it has never felt before?

He grinned in return nodding once, "It would be my honor to be your partner in chaos, Lord Black."


	6. A Black Christmas

**_This chapter was super annoying to write and I don't know why, well, whatever. It's out of the way and the Black Family chaos can now carry on, I do hope you enjoy!_**

 ** _Warning though, this is world building, so not as funny as normal._**

* * *

 ** _December 25, 1989_**

 _Christmas is an odd holiday for me, primarily because I never actually got to experience it before I was drawn into the Weasley clan, and they rather liberally mixed long forgotten Yule traditions and generalized wizarding insanity into it all._

 _Love them dearly, but the lot of them were a bit, **off** , and that's coming from me...Though I did marry Ginny so whatever, off kilter attracts off kilter...wait what the fuck was I even talking about?_

 _Ok right, Christmas is odd, I don't remember my first Christmas since I was a baby and all, every one following that until the wizarding world revelation had me 'gifted' with things like clothes hangers, spatulas, empty candy wrappers, etcetera from the Dursleys._

 _It actually made it worse ya know? If they had just not gotten me anything, fine, whatever, par for the course and what not._

 _But nope! Can't have Freak think he's free of their spite, they have to make him realize they went out of their way to bother wrapping rubbish just so he understands how worthless and unwanted he really is._

 _How I didn't end up becoming a serial killer is honestly beyond me, and no the war didn't count, that was mother fucking retribution thank you very much and I have no regrets._

 _Anyway, as an adult well, I was one of the Patriarchs of the great Potter-Black/Longbottom/Malfoy/Weasley power bloc, when Christmas rolled around I didn't actually get to enjoy it. Really, I was primarily there for damage control, you know, make sure Ron didn't curse Draco, make sure Draco didn't poison Ron, stopping Neville from going into his bear form to smack both of them around just because he could, attempting to get drunk with Hermione, Ginny, Astoria, and Hannah as they tried to get me to stop sobbing at the insanity that was my life._

 _You know, the usual._

 _So when I told Arcturus that receiving a few gifts during my Hogwarts years was the closest thing I ever had to a true childhood Christmas he nodded, made his farewells, and went back to his manor. The next day I was informed that the Tonks family had been formally reintegrated into the Black family, and they, the Malfoys, and we three mad mages camping out in Privet Drive were all going to Black Manor on Christmas day to have a family dinner._

 _My buddy kindly ignored the fact that I broke out into tears when I hugged him, seriously, is this a little girl thing or am I just more messed up than I thought I was? Maybe it's both? I'm gonna go with both._

* * *

Andromeda Tonks nee Black stood before the gates of a manor she thought she would never see again, the seat of her birth family that she had been spurned from for following her heart rather than tradition and her father's demands.

To say that being reinstated back into the Black family by her estranged grandfather two weeks prior had been a surprise would be a bit like saying the Atlantic was a large body of water. A true statement of course, but it really didn't convey the magnitude of the situation. Still though, he had overruled her bastard father's decree and had drawn her entire family into the Black fold once again, and it took all her willpower not to cry just thinking about it.

"Mum, are you ok?"

Sniffing lightly as she leaned into her husbands supporting embrace Andromeda turned to her daughter and smiled slightly before replying in a tired tone.

"Yes dear, just...you have no idea how much I had wished for this, to be accepted back, with no stipulations attached... It is simply a bit overwhelming. A wish come true if you will."

Nymphadora's hair cycled through a few shades of violet before the teenager shrugged and turned back to the unlocked gates, "But they abandoned you mum...why do you care so much?"

Andromeda sniffled while Ted replied for her, "You're an only child kiddo, you grew up in the muggle world before being tossed into the magical. Things are different on this side, family is...well...everything."

Nymphadora scowled at that as her hair turned a sickly green color, "If it means everything why the hell did they abandon mum?"

Before her mother could chide her for her language the gates swung open and she was addressed by a stately looking older man with a small girl standing at his side.

"Because my son Cygnus was a short sighted fool with an over inflated sense of self worth, I only wish I had realized it before he had ruined your mother and her sisters lives." The man turned to meet Andromeda's gaze and smiled as he opened his arms slightly, "Andi, welcome home."

Andromeda Tonks, head healer of Saint Mungo's, championship duelist, and the only 'blood traitor' not on Voldemort's kill list due to the shear amount of his minions she personally murdered when sent after her, sobbed as she rushed forward and embraced the old man in a rib cracking hug.

"Thank you, grandfather..."

The moment was ruined a moment later as the little girl quickly pipped in with, "Aw, ain't that sweet, see Arty you coulda had a big loving family all along if you had just been a man about it and owned up to your idiot son's mistakes. Maybe the dementia was just setting in earlier than you expected old man."

Nymphadora and her father glanced to the girl while Lord Arcturus grimaced holding Andromeda a bit tighter then a moment before.

"Must you ruin the moment you annoyance?"

She plucked a sucker from her pocket, unwrapped it, and stuck it in her mouth while grinning, "Did you expect anything else from me you crotchety old bastard?"

The Tonks family froze at that as Arcturus growled out, "Coddled little trollop."

"Curdled miser."

"Snot nosed hobgoblin."

"Microcephalic adipate."

Arcturus released Andromeda as he cocked his head to the side, "What does that even mean?"

The girl let out an annoyed huff and shrugged, "Read it in a medical journal, it means you have a small brain case, essentially it means you are a moron."

Arcturus stared at her a moment before sighing, "I give you an 'Acceptable' for effort but really it doesn't carry the necessary edge when you have to explain the insult Harri."

The girl, Harri sighed as she tapped her chin lightly with her forefinger, "Right right...will have to work on that one..."

As it stood it was Nymphadora who decided to take control of the situation as she stepped forward and curtsied as was proper while making eye contact with Harri, "I'm Dora Tonks, only, Dora Tonks, this is my Da' Ted Tonks and my mum Andromeda Tonks, pleasure to meet you both."

While Arcturus raised a brow and her mother looked about to reprimand her for shortening her name to something none-insulting, Harri beamed at the metamorphmagus with gleaming eyes and a wide Cheshire cat grin.

"Do you prefer Dora or Tonks? I completely understand disliking your given name, Harriet just sounds so...bland...I prefer going by Harri. Anyway, pleasure to meet you Dora Tonks, I am Harriet Lily Potter, now shall we go inside where there is hot chocolate and no snow?"

The young teen stared at the girl a few moments before snorting and walked forward clasping her hand in her own, "Dora is fine when I'm with my family, Tonks is ok when they aren't around, and it's a pleasure to meet you, Harri."

As the group walked towards the manor Dora eventually tilted her head to the side and quietly asked, "Exactly how did the 'Girl-Who-Lived' end up shacked up with my geriatric grandfather?"

Harri snorted in amusement as she muttered her reply, "He saved me from the horrible muggles Dumbledore placed me with, I've only had a few months of my cousins training to get me to where I am now."

That...well that certainly explained the rude behavior at least...

Eventually the Tonks family was led into the sitting room where a tired looking Sirius Black was leafing through the photo album his goddaughter had gifted him with earlier that day. Turning to meet the new arrivals he grinned and hopped from his seat, quickly rushing Andromeda and pulling her into a tight hug, soon swinging the laughing witch in circles before placing her back on the ground.

"Andi you've gotten so big! In a right lady like way of course, you're still as trim as you were in your teens. And Ted, loving the goatee! Nymphadora, Dora, you're a right looker, I bet all the wizards are chasing after your tail eh?"

He said the last bit as he raised his brows up and down suggestively while her parents glared at him, Dora just smirked confidently in return.

"You know it."

Sirius let out a bark of laughter as he gestured for the family to take a seat, Harriet was about to follow suit when she got the chiming tingling of new arrivals approaching the wards. That could only mean the Malfoys had arrived.

It was a testament to her very newly developing self control that she did not break out cackling as she left the room to rush back out to the front gates, this was going to be good.

* * *

As the family of three apparated before the gates of her ancestral home Narcissa Malfoy nee Black gently steadied her young son by his shoulder as he shook off the effects of the instantaneous teleportation. There _was_ a reason you weren't allowed to get a license for it until you were of age after all, still her little dragon made her proud as he shook his head and turned to grin up at her.

She stared down into his mercury grey eyes and couldn't help feeling a fresh swell of pride at witnessing her boy's resilience, "All right there my little wizard?"

His grin only brightened as he nodded, "Fine mum, I'm good now."

Her husband ruined the moment as he drawled out with, "Excellent, shall we continue on now?"

Sighing Narcissa took Draco's hand and approached the gates of Black Manor, as they came to a stop said gates opened soundlessly and the family was presented with her grandfather and patriarch, as well as a small ravenette girl who was sporting a terrifyingly wide toothy grin.

"Ah," Lord Arcturus began, "You've finally arrived, Lord Malfoy, a pleasure," Lucius nodded in respect to the elder statesman before he continued.

"Narcissa, beautiful as always, I'm pleased to see you in good health granddaughter of mine." She smiled and bowed her head in respect to the only male Black she held it for.

"And this must be young Draco, hello lad, I'm your Grandfather Arcturus, a pleasure to finally meet you." Draco sidled a little closer to his mother as he bowed lightly in return.

"A pleasure to meet you si- Err...Grandfather..."

Arcturus snorted as the girl at his side stepped forward, rolling the sucker stuffed in her cheek with her tongue sending the attached stick whirling, she grinned at the trio widely as she placed her hands on her hips.

"Nice to meet you all! I'm Harriet, please call me Harri, Potter. Narcissa, can I call you Aunt Cissy? Nice to meet you! Lucy Goosey why so serious? It's just dinner right? Not like anyone is gonna ask you if you served the Dark Lord willingly while we're eating turkey, relax! Draco! My big cousin it's great to meet you! Wanna come see my Quidditch closet? I didn't even know I had one till today but this thing is _filled_ with brooms!"

The elder Malfoys were left standing there in shock as the small girl dragged their now grinning son into the manor while Arcturus simply chuckled while shaking his head, his comment a moment later didn't help their mood at all.

"Well...this ought to be good."

With that Lord Black smirked and spun on his heel as he began walking back to the manor, "Do come along," being all he said to the blonde couple.

Following him out of instinct and training more than anything the pair were silent for a few moments but before the old Lord could open the front doors Lucius finally managed to seethe out an anger tinged statement.

"How can you possibly put up with that girl acting as she does?!"

Arcturus froze, and turned to Lucius giving him an even look, "She was physically and emotionally abused by her muggle relatives since she was two years old. Up till the point she turned five she thought her name was 'Freak' before having to go to primary school, if she did better than her idiot cousin in said school, she was whipped with a belt so she learned to downplay her intelligence early on.

"She was forced to cook meals for her family from the age of four, only given scraps and leftovers for herself, and if she was ever defiant, and being a Black _and_ a Potter she often did just that, she was thrown into her room which was a boot cupboard under the stairs and locked in for days without food or water."

Narcissa grew paler as Lucius grew more enraged at the thought of a witch being treated like, like, a _house elf_ by bloody muggles, Arcturus shook his head slowly as he pushed the doors open and led the couple into the foyer.

"My friend, the simple fact that she is here alive, whole, hale, and hearty, is reason enough for me to look past her antics. For I would much rather have a slightly off yet _alive_ Black witch in my home than a complacent dead one."

The Malfoy couple was lost in thought at that statement as they were brought into a massive sitting room that already hosted four people, they both automatically noticed the standing figure as Sirius Black who grinned at them openly. The young teen he had been speaking to had hair that shifted colors rapidly making her likely identity to be Andromeda's daughter Nymphadora, and the couple...

"They are members of the house of Black now," Arcturus muttered lowly, "And please do keep in mind, the father being a mudblood or not, their daughter is the first metamorphmagus in the Black family history. Think on that Lucius."

The man did in fact do just that as his wife sobbed and rushed forward to wrap her arms around her long thought lost sister, the two siblings rocking each other back and forth speaking quiet words of reassurance at their reunion.

Taking a step back he observed the proceedings for a time before their was what sounded like a crashing noise in the distance. Sirius sighed while shaking his head and a few moments later a teenage witch with glowing lilac eyes and tossled black hair that fell in cascading curls prowled into the room dragging Harriet and Draco behind her.

The gorgeous young woman released the sheepish looking pair while turning to Arcturus, "Did you give them permission to dive into that madhouse that you call a Quidditch locker?"

Lord Arcturus shrugged and stated, "Yes?" Sighing the woman turned her lilac gaze to Harri's emerald while shrugging lightly.

"Well, apologies, go nuts, but I am _supervising_. The last thing I need is for you brats to set my house on fire so wait for me!"

As a sign of respect Harri gave her a brief jaunty salute before marching away with Draco in hand.

With that the Malfoy and Tonks adults gathered around to meet the new arrival, Sirus sauntering along as he sipped a glass of wine. Coughing into his hand Arcturus turning his gaze to the woman and introduced her with a brief hand gesture.

"I needed someone who knew how to behave like a pureblooded Black without drawing too much attention to train Harriet. So allow me to introduce you to Belladonna Noir, Alphard's daughter."

The Tonks and Malfoys stared at the teen a few moments before nodding their acknowledgment, Bella then quickly dismissed herself with the excuse that she had to keep an eye on the kids.

Both Narcissa and Andromeda dismissed their husbands to Sirius's care and quickly managed to corner their grandfather, it was Narcissa who managed to growl out her first question.

" _ **How.** "_

Arcturus was not a stupid man, and he knew when he had to play it straight, "My idiot son put Bellatrix under a Hades contract when she was barely seventeen."

This tore all the fire from both sisters as they stared at their grandfather in horror.

"He...the bastard really went there? He went that far?" Andromeda asked beyond shocked.

"Quite so, did not find out myself until well after the fact regardless. Anyway after some minor mishaps at Azkaban, Sirius and Bellatrix fell into my custody, don't ask a single bloody question on the hows and whys, the less you know the better. Suffice it to say that the contract was voided when the LeStranges died and Bella reverted to her teenage self as a 'punishment' for breach of contract.

"After that I gave Bella a potion that made her Alphard's daughter much to her glee, and she's been teaching Harriet what she can about being a pure-blood..."

The two women were silent for a time before Andromeda finally spoke "Are you telling me, that my big sister, the girl who always protected us from our father's perversions is not only alive, but has no knowledge of what she was forced to do under the whims of her husband?"

Narcissa spoke next, "You are saying Bellatrix is really still alive, still my beloved elder sister and protector, without any of the insanity our father forced on her?"

He snorted at that, "She's a Black insanity kind of goes hand in hand, but if you mean the sadomasochism kink, murdering for the laughs, and a complete and utter disregard for innocent lives, then no, she doesn't suffer from that anymore."

He was quite surprised when his granddaughters rushed him and wrapped their arms around him, doubly so when they both echoed two words.

"Thank You."

* * *

 **Ok, this chapter was annoying in ways I'm not getting into, but suffice it to say next one will be ending most of these super emotional interactions. I actually plan on Bella taking Harri out on a Paris shopping spree when she's ten right before the letters hit, which is what I'm looking forward to, but since I'm rebuilding the Black family I have to go through this obnoxious route...ugh...**

 **So hey, hate, love it, tolerate it, please leave a review, believe it or not the more response I get the quicker I feel like updating.**


	7. A Black Christmas Pt2

**_The only reason this happened was because Lily kept me on the straight and narrow. So seriously, thank Lady Lily Anne for making me stay focused. As it stands, enjoy, read, review, and as always, have fun!_**

* * *

 _Draco Malfoy and I had always had a weird relationship after the Second Blood War. When we graduated and took up our respective seats in the Wizangamot we kind of just threw away the past and decided fuck it all, we are not going to worry about the shite we did as kids and be adults about all this political back stabbing idiocy and actually get something done._

 _This worked to an extent, as long as Ron wasn't in the fucking room at least. Seriously to this day I have no idea why the hell he couldn't just let our school days go but the man never accepted it. He never trusted Draco despite the signed alliance he had with me and my god was it irritating, it wasn't like it was his daughter who was getting shagged by the gits sprog so what the fuck did he have to complain about?_

 _Ugh...what was I talking about? Right right..._

 _So my idea to make sure Harriet's school days were relatively free from Harry's common annoyances was fairly simple. Arcturus would offer a Contract of Friendship between myself and Draco. These Contract's were old school, archaic even for the Blacks but it fit right up our alley so no one would ask questions._

 _They were, technically, pre-betrothal agreements that necessitated both parties being civil with each other and doing their best to accommodate one and other. This was beyond acceptable in my books, really if I could have legal documentation stating Draco Malfoy had to behave like a real boy for seven years whilst stuck in an isolated castle in Scotland, I was sold._

 _Seriously, I don't give a flying fuck if he spent all his Hogwart's years thinking he was going to be my husband, all while waiting for the sudden let down at the end that, nope, I was my own and he had to earn it if he wanted it. It was, literally, a near decade of guaranteed peace, and having the prying eyes of all pubescent wizards deflected away from my likely to be rather sexy visage as they feared my AND Draco's families retaliation?_

 _The feeling of freedom was delicious._

 _Never once, ever, have I stated that I was Light, or Dark, I'm far too pragmatic for that sort of thing._

 _I'm A Grey Witch, and_ _I am free to do as I wish even if it is a bit cruel and self serving, though at this point I think I earned the right to be a bit selfish._

* * *

Belladonna rolled her eyes at Draco and Harriet as the pair whooped loudly racing each other on their training brooms attempting to catch a practice snitch, she was fairly certain that both nine year old's could handle the real thing but she wasn't taking chances with her sisters being about. Huffing as her breath fogged about her Bella shifted uncomfortably while toeing the frozen turf of the Quiditch pitch, her sisters...now was that ever a loaded subject.

"Almost got it!" Draco shouted out in gleeful tones as his broom automatically corrected its course pulling the boy out of a near successful Wronski Feint, the boy did have some natural talent it would seem.

She yelled a few words of encouragement to the pair before falling back into her own thoughts, wondering if she could ever regain the relationship with her sisters that she had so cherished in the past. She couldn't let them know who she really was though, not after everything Sirius told her she had done when she had been forced to be that bloody bastard LeStrange's psychotic little whore.

Gritting her teeth, closing her eyes, and clenching her fists tightly enough that her nails nearly drew blood from her palms, she forced these thoughts away. She couldn't remember them, mostly, so forced herself not to dwell what had passed, she only had so much sanity to go around after all.

Unclenching her jaw and releasing her fists she turned to face back towards the kids when, as if by magic, Narcissa and Andromeda appeared standing before her. Gulping she was about to speak when she was rushed by her older, younger sisters and engulfed in a group hug, eyes wide, brain freezing she could only melt into the embrace for a few moments before clearing her throat.

Disetangling herself from her sisters she coughed into her hand before muttering, "I'm s-sorry my dear Au-Aunts but wh-what was that hug for?" She inwardly winced at her unintentional stutter, amateur mistake there.

"Cut the act Bella," Andi stated with a wry grin.

"Did you honestly think we wouldn't recognize our older sister?" Cissy finished with a flip of her hair.

Bella just stared at the pair a moment before smirking wryly, "Should have known...I missed you too..."

"Is this real though? Is what Grandfather said true? This is really you?" Narcissa asked with daunting trepidation heavy in her voice.

Bella stepped back letting out a sigh as she ran a hand through her hair, "Yes?" She asked this, more than stating it. "I...I don't remember anything past my seventeenth birthday...father ordered me to come to his study which...was nothing new really, and that's where things get hazy."

Her sisters let out a noise similar to a growl but Belladonna waved it off, "I was use to his abuse at that point my dears, no worries I am a big girl and I can cope. Regardless he brought a contract out and upon reading it I was half way through casting the killing curse on him when I was hit with a stunner from behind. After that...I remember waking up to Harriet nursing me back to health."

Narcissa took her left hand, as Andromeda took her right, and her sisters openly cried as they stared at her for several charged moments. Before either could say anything a broom crashed into the ground beside them and a small form performed a rather admirable roll before popping back to her feet.

Raising her right fist triumphantly presenting the freshly caught snitch Harriet shook her head sending ebony tresses flying, a moment later she met Bella's gaze while grinning widely, "I won."

"And the award for ruining the most moments in a single day goes to Harri Potter," Bella told the girl dryly, somewhat annoyed at the interruption but accepting it as one of Harri's quirks regardless.

Harri was not to be outdone though.

"Oh dear cousin, did I cut off your sisterly reunion? My apologies, do so strive through the discomfiting fields of now being the youngest Black daughter who can no longer acknowledge her hallowed and pure-blood rights as befits her station. I shall leave you to your tidings and continue entertaining young Draco, by your leave."

With that Harriet snatched up her broom, threw the snitch into the air while yelling "Round two blondie!" and took off with Draco following in her wake laughing the whole while.

There was dead silence for nearly a minute before Narcissa spoke up, "Does she rather disturbingly remind you of Aunt Dorea? Because I'm getting a severe Aunt Dorea vibe from her and I don't find that comforting."

"Thank Merlin, I thought it was just me," Andi stated with a huff.

"You're not the only one, I hate it when she does that," agreed Bella.

The three sisters looked at each other, memories resurfacing of their Aunt Dorea and all the mayhem she caused via her sharp tongue and quick wit and the trio visibly shuddered upon this reflection.

"So the next two decades are going to be hell, especially once she starts going through puberty. I vote for using them as meat-shields," Andi said, pointing at the four men approaching the pitch tailed by Dora.

"Agreed." The other two spoke as one.

"Glad that's settled. Now, where were we?"

They were interrupted a moment later before they could resume their conversation.

"Ladies," Lord Arcturus stated as he came to a stop before them, hands resting atop his cane as he leaned forward, "Dinner is soon to be served."

Nodding, Belladonna cupped her hands around her mouth while yelling, "BRAT ONE! BRAT TWO! DINNER TIME!"

Rather surprisingly the two kids quickly twirled their brooms about and landed before their elder cousin, Draco glared up at the adults a moment though before seething out, "I am _not_ a brat."

Harri giggled while gently smacking him on the back of the head before grabbing his hand walking forward, "No you're a _prat_ , but that is neither here nor there. Come on lets go!"

Draco glared at her a moment before it quickly shifted into a grin, and he followed her lead back to the manor.

"She is being surprisingly acquiescing," Bella stated watching the small retreating forms as her brows furrowed, Sirius cleared that up a moment later.

"Treacle tart for dessert, I let her know beforehand."

Smirking Bella patted his head gently as she took her sisters in arm prowling towards the manor, "Good dog, you get a biscuit."

"Woof..." Sirius stated dryly while rolling his eyes, really the things he put up with for family.

* * *

The shock of entering the manor's welcoming warmth after the bitter cold of the quidditch pitch stung Harri's cheeks as they quickly turned a ruddy red causing her to wince slightly. Heating charms were nice and all, but as it turned out they did absolutely jackshit when you were flitting about on a broom going fifty kilometers per hour.

Still, a fun little jaunt and it certainly helped to endear Draco to her, not that it would have been hard to do that regardless considering his current constant compatriots. In the future that would never be he had confided in Harry that half the reason he was such a spoiled little shit was simply because his only exposure to other children before Hogwarts had been Crabbe and Goyle. By his father's insistence of course.

It had explained **_so_** much of Draco's mentality at Hogwarts, since thanks to Lucius's control issues his son simply automatically assumed that he was the smartest person in the room by default. Thankfully, Harri had managed to disabuse him of this notion, which hopefully would be enough to get the boy to start acting less like a Malfoy and more like a Black, for all their benefits.

"So cousin, outside of quidditch what interests you?" Well, she hadn't expected the boy to ask _that_ , intriguing really that he had interest in anyone but himself. Exactly how much damage had Lucius done in the two years before Draco's initial meeting with Harry? Something to think on later.

"Ah Draco, I like playing the violin, and tinkering with ancient runes. I have a Grimoire written by my mum that I've found incredibly intriguing, it has given me access to runic arrays that allows muggle electronics to work in a magical household for instance. So I've been rather busy with that."

Bella approached the pair grinning widely, "Her Christmas present to me was actually a television and VCR that have been enchanted to distribute ambient magic around them and manages to use it as a power source. A clever little witch our Harri."

Said little witch turned her head slightly to wink at her older cousin before turning back to Draco who looked slightly impressed and confused as he stated, "I don't know much about muggle electronics but I do know that the violin is something one must be dedicated to in order to master. How good are you?"

Harri felt a brief pang of regret as she remembered the reason _why_ Harry had learned to play a violin. His first born, James Sirius had come to him in the dead of the night telling him that Lily Luna was having nightmares, being the dutiful father he was he had gone to her room to try and comfort her.

It didn't work, nothing really did aside from playing some music in the background. That was when little Al had shown Harry a youtube video of Lindsey Stirling and he'd gotten the idea in his head to learn to play the violin.

As it turned out, not one of his worse decisions, he was no Stirling by any standards be he had picked up on how to play well enough. At least to get his daughter to sleep that is, and Arcturus _had_ gotten her a fiddle for Christmas so maybe it was time to embrace the past a bit. Better than running from it at the very least

"Good enough, I'll play a song for you after dinner ok?" He smirked that annoying as fuck Malfoy smirk while nodding lightly in reply.

"I look forward to a perfect performance," he stated snidely.

Friend or not, Draco was always going to annoy the fuck out of her, she had no delusions this would change any time soon, that being said the desire to curse the arrogant little shit was stronger than she liked it to be.

As the group settled around the table Kreacher popped in thankfully wearing the doublet and trousers Arcturus had demanded were necessary for tonight, bowing lightly the elf spoke up in his gravely manner.

"Dinner is served, most noble Lords Black," With that he popped out of existence as the tables were soon lined with food.

Taking a seat between Bella and Draco Harri idly reflected she needed to go after that damn locket soon and began nibbling at her meal. For some reason she really had no appetite and it didn't take much time before Arcturus interrupted her thoughts.

"Is the meal not to your liking my heiress?" Oh, fuck, he was pulling that out now? Dick move you old fucker, especially since she was still forced to play a part and... Oh you son of a bitch! She glared at her bestie who was smirking behind his bridged gloved fingers waiting for her to make a response that _wasn't_ composed of swear words and hatred.

"Well played," she seethed out earning looks of confusion from her family and a nod of respect from Arty, "Dinner is just fine I was simply wondering exactly when you were going to make the offer to Lord Malfoy."

There, put that bullshit squarely on his plate and thus making it his problem by phrasing the entire proposal in a way that made it seem to be his idea. Fuck you Arty, two could play at this game!

Arcturus for his part frowned as he speared a candied yam with his fork and took the time necessary to chew it to develop a response. The glare he sent Harri was indicative of the fact he had caught on and didn't see a way out other than to follow through.

Hahahahahaha. Don't fuck with a Marauder, you're off the map now laddie, and here there be monsters.

"Lord Malfoy, I have a proposal for you, one that will have long stretching benefits to your house as well as my own."

The way Lucius perked up had Harri rolling her eyes, bastard probably thought a marriage contract was on the table, the way Andi grimaced, Cissy frowned, and Bella stabbed through her plate into the table made it clear they thought the same.

"Oh, is that so Lord Black?"

Arcturus did his best to keep his composure as he tilted his head to the side, "Yes, I was thinking of offering a Contracted Friendship between my heiress and your heir. It is a bit old fashioned I admit but it would do wonders for both the children's sake, and for your own...reputation."

Sick burn, Harri had to resist snickering as Lucius's brows furrowed at the slight inferring his willing assistance to Voldemort, rock on Arty!

"I see...a Contract of Friendship is often times seen as a first step to a betrothal though, it could have people talking."

"But of course," Arcturus demurred as he sipped his wine.

What followed was, frankly, two hours of two men masturbating to their own power as they hammered out the details to a done deal. In the end Draco and Harriet were now legally obligated to be friends, which solved multiple problems and made the future utterly fucking hilarious since Harri fully intended on making sure Hermione was still her best friend this time around.

Ah, irony, you fickle, stubborn, magnificent bitch, you keep riding on you.

As it ended up, after dinner Harri played a few simple pieces on her violin proving she could in fact play the damn thing, and sent the now contractually obligated friendly family home a few hours later.

She was...exhausted in the end though, her direct Black family was permanently living at the manor now, at least until Sirius was fully healed, and she was at a bit of a lose as to what to do. Schemes and plans were all well and good but still...

Her thoughts were broken off by a pair of warm arms wrapping around her as a beautiful face rested next to her own, sending a cascade of wavy black ringlets down her shoulders.

"Hello love," Belladona stated as she pulled the child closer to herself.

"Hello love," she replied in kind as she leaned into the embrace, "What's the occasion?"

"It's getting cold out, I was worried about you."

"Am I not old enough to care for myself?"

Bella snorted, "Certainly, but you're also easily distracted and I thought it best I interfere with your thoughts to keep you healthy."

Harri smiled at that, "You aren't wrong my wicked witch. Ok, take me prisoner my dear Bella, but I ask you now, be gentle."

Bella laughed as she snaked an arm around the girls shoulders guiding her towards the lifts.

"No promises, now want to watch 'The Princess Bride'?"

Harri grinned up to her cousin in a winning manner at that, "Oh I am so glad I made you into a nerd."

"A nerd?" Bella asked in response, Harri could only grin in return.

"What are we watching after that?" The non sequitur had Belladonna shaking her head slightly before she replied.

"Labyrinth I believe," Harri grinned in return.

"Marry me woman," Bella raised a brow in confusion before drawling out her response.

"Ok?"

Harry smirked as she gripped her hand and dragged Bella back to the manor, "Excellent! Now, let us watch Princess Bride while drinking wine coolers!"

Bellatrix was completely lost, but also highly amused, so she did exactly what the nine year old girl told her to.

* * *

 **Personally, I love Harri and Arty, along with Harri and Bella, they're both jaded and fucked up enough to really get her.**

 **Sorry for the late update this was a _bitch_ to get through, please review!**


	8. An Average Day For a Black

**Short yes, but very quick considering the last chapter came out less then a week ago. I consider this a 'Feel Good' story for me, because it really doesn't matter how depressed and worn out I am from a sixty hour work week, writing this makes me happy.**

 **So please, enjoy!**

 **Edit-I am not confusing weed for something stronger as someone has stated, I'm sure any of you who went to college saw some amateur taking one too many hits and having a bad trip that others had to cope with since they supplemented the pot with alcohol which just...ugh, makes a helluva mess.**

 **Especially if they're a Mormon who begins crying about offending Jesus and the like while covered in vomit and you can't calm them the hell down which just freaks you out further...**

 **Seriously, if you're going to do something illegal do a bit of research first so your friends don't have to rent a carpet shampooer.**

* * *

 **May 1, 1990**

 _I'm not a fan of holidays, either bad things happened on them or I was completely ignored left to "celebrate" on my own, it was just the nature of the game really. Post Hogwarts I was, as previously mentioned, left to herd cats trying to keep the peace between many dysfunctional families, which was irritating beyond words._

 _Beltane though, well...after Ginny and Luna died, and all out global war was all but declared, I had a bit of fun with it._

 _That is to say I was jumped by Gabrielle Delacour_ _and fucked senseless by her when I was feeling angsty and alone._

 _Seriously, Gabby is proof that there is at least one God out there that loves me and wants me to be happy, because that woman cannot naturally be as...Gabby as she is without outside help._

 _That being said, Beltane was an interesting holiday for me because it didn't matter where I was fighting, who I was killing, what country I was trying to burn down to the ground, Gabby was always there to shag like there was no tomorrow._

 _It was like clockwork, and it wasn't until she was murdered that I realized how much I had relied on her after my wives deaths. I couldn't have nice things, or beautiful women in my life, they always broke, always died, and it was always for some idiotic reason that I couldn't have possibly planned for._

 _This new life, well, I figured I'd do something that would make Gabby laugh, my darling little Veela lover always did have a sadistic sense of humor._

 _I will say this about myself, I may be a wreck, but sweet merciless Morrigan did I have a rather incredible taste in women._

* * *

Jared had done his fair share of bad deeds in his life, blackmail, theft, selling drugs, talked during movies at the cinema, and killing people out of necessity more than desire but there was one thing he'd never done before.

"Kid I am not selling you two kilos of weed, seriously, fuck off!"

He was _not_ selling drugs to _children._

He was not going to sell a little girl enough herb to put down a couple of elephants, seriously this was just getting ridiculous, she was like, nine, at best. How the hell did she even know to find him in this jacked up caravan?

"Why the fuck not?" She asked sounding incredulous which, once again, from a nine year old?

Bizarre.

"Because I have no intention of involving myself in what is most likely a sting operation! Seriously you haven't even hit puberty yet why the hell are you even shopping for that much pot?!"

She sighed at that before reaching into her pocket, pulling out a stack of cash that she soon threw it at him. Catching the projectile pounds sterling he quickly ran his thumb down the notes and Jared's eyes widened in shock when he realized they were quite real, and there was quite a bit there.

"Really? Why not let the money talk, give me what I want and that is yours, if not, well..." he glanced down to see her waving a small pistol in her hand. Staring at the cash in his palm, switching to the grinning girl with a fucking gun, and thinking how not having his entire pot stash in his home would go a long way to making him seem legit, Jared caved in.

"Fine...but you didn't get it from me."

The girl grinned in return, "I never saw you before mate, now, where is my weed?"

* * *

Arcturus Black bloody hated Ministry sponsored holidays, but not because they offended him of course. He _was_ a pagan after all and gave proper sacrifices to all the terrifying Gods that he knew would be out for him, he simply hated Ministry events because it required him to deal with people he regularly went out of his way to avoid.

Tonight was no different, the Beltane Feast was going to be the talk of the isles for the next few weeks and he was forced to endure it along with his family. At least they would be suffering too even if it was only the Malfoys and Tonks, the Mad Three as Harri liked to call Sirius, Belladonna, and herself where exempt this year.

The bloody lucky bastards.

"Lord Arcturus, it's lovely to see you attending tonight! Is it true what they're saying about your grandson? The whole not being tried and actually being innocent thing that is? Haha, leave it to the ministry to mess up so handidly."

Arcturus tilted his head to the side and stared and Joshua Goyle for less then a second before spitting out, "Piss off, and do not bother speaking to me again on this night."

He had been hanging out with Harri too much he knew, but the little parasite stared into his glimmering silver eyes a moment too long and quickly turned tail and ran away.

Arcturus smiled and couldn't help thinking of one of Harri's many quips.

He'd handled that like a boss.

As the tables were ladened down with platters of food he sighed and turned to grab a plate when Kreacher appeared before him handing Arcturus a note, he stared at it a moment before glancing to the house elf who simply bowed and vanished.

He witnessed the magical servant to the house of Black appear before the the Tonks and Malfoy couples, and he did _not_ miss young Nymphadora plucking an object from her pocket and quickly having her mother enlarge it.

He had been around Harri for long enough to recogonize a camera recorder and...he really needed to read the note his servant had handed him.

Unfolding the Post-It Note Arcturus felt his stomach drop as he read the short message held within, ' _ **Don't Eat Anything On The Blue Plates**_.'

Oh sweet Circe what did his friend do this time?

His answer came soon enough when Dowager Longbottem fell into her chair and began laughing loudly, this was soon followed by the Minister himself patting his body down and screaming that his vital fluids where being stolen.

Watching Fudge fall to his knees sobbing he glanced over to the Tonks family where he saw a grinning Nymphadora sweeping a camcorder over the area, all while her parents where in deep conversation with the Malfoys ignoring the events going on around them.

Apparently they had read their notes as well, as a woman ran past him tearing her gown off screaming something about cockroaches Arcturus finally let out a laugh while shaking his head slowly. He had no idea what his best friend had done, but he was sure she had done it for his benefit, glancing towards Dora as she recorded the events he didn't bother hiding his smile.

It would also appear she wished to keep a record of it for postaritiy.

An hour later Arcturus left what he had dubbed 'Ground Zero' and flooed back to Black Manor while doing his best to keep his composure, which admittedly was a bit difficult. After all, it wasn't every day you saw a pink clad woman who resembled a toad hop onto a table singing 'I'm a Little Teapot', he was rather thankful of that fact really.

The hair on those stumps Delores called legs, sweet Circe why? His shudder was forgotten as he entered Belladonna's open room and he couldn't help smirking at what he saw.

Harri was leaning against Belladonna as said woman was rapidly tapping the buttons on her controller while staring at the television screen with an intensity that was almost violent.

"Gogogogogogogogogo!" Harri was saying as a rather angry looking image of a sun followed a rotund man with a raccoon tail before the image crossed a blacked off finishing line, a moment later Bella threw her hand up in the air cackling in victory.

"Fuck yes three star cards! Who's the witch!?"

"You're the witch!" Harri shot out playfully as she dropped her head back on Bella's shoulder. Honestly he felt kind of bad interrupting this but he did need answers, so Arcturus let out a sigh and coughed loudly enough to be heard.

Both witches glanced up to meet their Patriarch's gaze while raising their right brows at the same time.

That wasn't creepy in the slightest, really, especially since they looked like bloody clones of each other.

Thankfully he had enough life experience to push that disquieting feeling aside and carried on, "I just got back from the Ministry Beltane feast..."

"Oh?" Bella asked as the corners of her lips twitched up slightly, "How did that go?"

Sweet merciless Morrigan she was in on it too! He inwardly sighed at that as he realized he shouldn't be surprised, Bella and Harri just _got_ each other and were typically involved with each other's plots.

"Well as it winds up everyone who wasn't given a proper warning ended up stoned out of their minds, it was rather ridiculous really."

Harri nodded as she cuddled back up to Bella while pulling her shawl a bit tighter around herself, "I suspect that you were spared a great embarrassment Lord Black, you should be thankful of outside parties warning you beforehand."

Arcturus stared at his granddaughter and best friend a moment before letting out a tired sigh, "What did you do?"

Harri grinned, snickered, then cackled, which set Bella off as she joined in, eventually she calmed down enough to say, "Ever have someone put pot in the birthday cake?"

As Arcturus's brows rose Sirius chirped out a response from the next room, just loud enough to be heard, "Yup! Your mum wanted Mooney's nineteenth to be memorable, what a night. That what you did to the Ministry pricks?"

Harriet was practically shaking from her giggle fit as she yelled her response, "Yup! House elves will do anything for you if you show them a bit of appreciation and kindness, including adding an extra ingredient to certain recipes!"

There was a bark of laughter as Arcturus turned back to his friend while shaking his head slowly, turning to Bella he raised a brow and asked, "Did you know?"

She giggled and shrugged, after which she shook her head, "Nope, but I'm not shocked, it sounds like our Harri's work now doesn't it?" Glancing down at the 'innocent' girl at her side Bella raised both brows as she asked, "What am I going to do with you?"

Harri's response was to snuggle closer and drop her head in Bella's lap, "Love me, keep me, hold me forever?"

"Well at least you're house trained," the older witch muttered as she snatched up her NES controller and moved Mario over the map to the next level. Harri simply giggled while Arcturus rolled his eyes and walked away wondering how he could use Nymphadora's VHS tape of the evenings events as some proper blackmail.

All in all, it was an average day in the House of Black.

* * *

 **So I really hadn't decided one way or another but I think way down the line Harri and Bella are going to become an item. As an aside Sirius will be taking a more prominent role about a chapter from now since next chapter is Bella kidnapping Harri and dragging her to Paris with her for a girls week out and getting customized wands.**

 **Any suggestions on that front? I was thinking ebony wood and thunderbird tail feather for Harri, no idea on Bella.**

 **Oh well, anyway I hope you enjoyed, and if you're up to it, please review!**


	9. You Wish Your Family Was As Fun As Mine

**_You all have fun as we enter the girls week alone without Arcturus being the sane one, enjoy, and review!_**

* * *

 ** _July 31, 1990_**

 _I am not a violent person by nature, really and truly, despite the atrocities I committed and the ridiculous situations I find myself in on a near weekly basis I do not enjoy violence._

 _When I had Ginny, Jimmy, Al, and Lily I was more than content to be nothing more then an over glorified constable doing my best to keep the innocent safe from the wicked._

 _Then they were gone, taken from me by nuclear fire and open warfare._

 _I thought myself lost, then Luna found me and I was happy with her and for a very short time our daughter Mary, then they where gone._

 _Gabby wasn't really wife material, she wouldn't be bound down, but I loved her regardless, and she loved me, then she was stabbed through the heart by a nameless Black Thorn assassin solely to hurt me._

 _So I had given up on love and indulged in violence, hurting those that wished to hurt the ones I cared about, or those who intended on hurting them to get to me, and wouldn't you know it?_

 _I am really fucking good at violence._

 _Seriously, Voldemort was a fucking footnote to what I could unleash when I came full circle from infuriated to apathetic, I was a connoisseur of creative destruction, or perhaps destructive creativity...hmm, something to mull on later._

 _All that being said, and I have no Goddess damned way to explain why, that in this new life when Bella shows me honest to Morgana affection and care, my desire for violence ebbs away no matter how riled I was at the time. All I want is for her to hold me, and tell me tomorrow will be better, and...and I just don't know what to think anymore._

 _I'm still crazy, I am most certainly a psychopath at the very least, but...when I'm around my Wicked Witch, I feel... content._

 _I honestly have no idea what that says about myself, and on that note, I don't particularly care in so long as this fuzzy feeling of belonging remains._

 _I suppose, in the end, I'll always be that little orphan who desired being loved unconditionally more than anything else... Makes me wonder if perhaps Tom could have been saved, if there had been someone to give a damn about him as a child..._

 _Rambling again, I tend to do that, sorry._

* * *

"Harri get moving or I'm going to Paris without you!"

Bella rolled her eyes in exasperation as she pulled her luggage to the door ignoring Sirius's puppy gaze as he stared up at her in his Grimm form.

"You can't go with us," she stated flatly as the dog shifted back to a wizard, taking on a whining tone that didn't earn him _any_ favors as he pleaded out to her.

"Why not! She's my goddaughter and it's her tenth birthday why can't I come along!"

"Because while we're in Paris we're getting custom wands made, I'm taking my N.E.W.T's, hitting a spa and we're going on a massive shopping binge with just us witches. The last thing Dora, Harri, and I need is an overblown man child scampering about us like a fool."

"I am _not_ a fool," Sirius muttered, a moment later he let out a surprised grunt as a small figure landed on his shoulders.

"No you are not, you are seriously far too serious to ever be considered a fool, right Sirius?"

Grinning widely now he glanced up at his goddaughter while reaching up to tickle her ribs causing her to break out into giggles.

"At least I'll always have you to defend me Prongslet," slipping her legs from her Godfather's shoulders the small girl fell to the ground gracefully while taking a bow. Turning around Sirius appraised the girl a moment as she openly grinned up at him while giving him the 'V for victory' hand gesture.

"Always and forever my beloved Dogfather, but Bella's not wrong, this is a witches week out and we don't need any wizards tagging along. How about a compromise, when we get back, you can host a party and I won't protest it at all?"

Sirius grinned at that, "Really, not at all?"

She shook an admonishing finger at him as she replied with, "No hookers Padfoot, but aside from that, yes."

He deflated slightly but snorted out a laugh as he nodded in acquiescence, "Ok, just be safe won't you?"

Grabbing his shirt and pulling him down to her level Harri kissed his brow before releasing him, "Always."

Soon the pair of witches left the Black Manor and approached the hired taxi that was taking them to the airport to meet up with Dora, a moment later Bella glanced down to her little cousin before speaking.

"You really shouldn't indulge him like that, Grandfather has been trying to beat maturity into him for almost a year now and if he thinks you're ok with his inane blathering it could undo it all."

Harrie shrugged at that, "There _is_ a reason I'm the Heir to the Black family and Sirius is not after all. It isn't just because the man doesn't want the position, it is also due to the fact that he is completely unsuited for it."

That, and being made the Heiress meant that when Arty passed on to his next great adventure the whole 'Two Lord Blacks' thing could be nullified, gotta plan ahead to seal up puzzling paradoxes after all.

"That I won't argue on," Bella demurred while rolling her eyes to the heavens, "I love him as well as I can any in the family but he's just not, oh what is the phrase I'm looking for..."

Harri shot her a cheeky grin while pipping out with, "Sirius is completely incapable of being serious despite my empty reassurances to otherwise?"

Bella sighed at the over used pun but let it slide as she shook her head slowly, "That really does about sum it up."

As they entered the car and made their way to the airport Harri shot Bella a glance while quickly asking, "Did Aunt Andi give us any trouble about kidnapping Tonks for this little holiday adventure?"

Bella smirked in turn while shrugging lightly, "Only that she was offended that she wasn't invited. Though I _am_ in charge over this lovely jaunt so please do try to keep the insanity at a minimum dear."

Harri tapped her chin thoughtfully as she stared up at the ceiling a few moments before turning her gaze back to Bella, "I promise not to purposely seek out trouble, but if it finds me on its own vocation I refuse to take responsibility."

Bella mulled on that a moment before nodding slowly, "Fair enough."

Arriving at the airport the pair unloaded their luggage and approached the terminal, it didn't take long for them to find their cousin who for her part was dressed in a miniskirt, combat boots, and a baby doll cut Iron Maiden t-shirt. The bright pink spiked hairdo was rather telling as well.

"Dressing up for the occasion I see," Bella drawled as they stopped before Tonks who smirked triumphantly in return.

"Wotcher! I was trying to get a bit of a reaction out of mum as I left the house, the fact that I had to dive through the floo to dodge curses was rather telling I suppose. Don't worry I'll change on the plane, why _are_ we taking a plane by the way?"

Neither Bella nor Harri found it necessary to comment on Andi trying to curse her daughter for going out in public in that outfit, the younger of the pair quickly responding to the metamorph's question with a cheerful chirp.

"Simply put Bella doesn't really have a footprint in magical Britain yet outside of her paperwork, it's all muggle so we're going to have to do things the slow way until she takes her N.E.W.T's. Which is fine since we need to get her a proper wand made regardless."

Bella sighed at that, "Yes, the old heirloom wand I have been using is, well, ok I suppose, but it isn't perfectly matched to me and tends to resist my commands during transfigurations."

Tonks nodded at that as she fell into step with her cousins to get her ticket processed, "I can use dad's well enough but mum's wand barely reacts to me, like trying to milk a stone really. So I get why you would want to have a properly paired off wand for your exams, you have been studying for them right?"

Harri rolled her eyes to Bella who for her part managed to hide her brow twitching in a cascade of wavy hair as the younger girl replied for her, "She has been, to the point where Lord Arcturus has to have ordered her to get some rest actually."

"N.E.W.T's are a pivotal and important task in a witches life and must be treated as such!" Bella snapped out as she completely ignored the service drone who was processing her ticket, "These exams will define the rest of my life and I am damn well not going to toss that on the wayside by being lazy."

Harri sighed while glancing back to Tonks shaking her head slowly, "We had to switch the coffee out to decaf when we found out she had not slept in three days, getting her to relax has been a chore. To say she wasn't amused when she figured out she wasn't being caffeinated would be an understatement."

"It was sabotage!"

"It got you seven hours of uninterrupted sleep," the little witch bit back causing her cousin to snap her mouth shut and pout a bit.

Tonks snickered at the interaction as she accepted her passport back from the teller and followed the pair to their plane, "Something tells me this holiday is going to be rather interesting with you two involved."

"Everything is made more interesting with my interaction," Harri stated with a sniff, both her older cousins rolled their eyes as they smacked her on the back of the head while each took one of her hands. Growling she refrained from saying anything further as she was dragged through the terminal, vowing vengeance the entire way.

Neither Bella nor Dora took any note of this, much to Harri's annoyance.

What followed was a very boring few hours on a plane where Harri played Tetris on her Gameboy while Bella napped and Tonks wrote out crossword puzzles. Upon landing the trio of witches took a cab to a high end hotel and charged it to Arcturus's account which amused Harri to no end.

Her friend was going to be so pissed off when he found out about this, and she couldn't refrain from laughing for it.

Leaving Dora to pounce on the mini-bar Hari and Bella made their way to the magical district to have their proper wands constructed and bound to them.

Unlike Diagon Alley Paris's Magical Shopping District of _Rue de Rêves_ was free from the taint of Dumbledore and Voldemort's influence, which in turn meant they had to be more wary of attacks than normal.

Neither witch was overly concerned about their safety, but they paid attention to their surroundings regardless.

Entering Madam Sabine's shop the pair paused as they had to disentangle themselves through the beaded strings as they entered the room proper.

Bins of treated leather strands, wood doles and chunks of raw ore were left on display while an elderly woman puffed on a pipe, who watched the new arrivals with a gimlet eye.

Sighing she stood and handed her pipe to a young boy who quickly hurried behind the curtains leading to the backroom, she soon stared at Harri before shaking her head slowly before speaking in a tired croaking tone.

"Couldn't be content destroying one world, could you?"

Harri just stared at the woman a moment before brushing Bella's hand aside while simply stating two words.

"Fuck you."

The woman snorted in return, "Fair enough, well, come along, you are here for a reason after all."

Turning to Belladonna first the woman nodded slowly before gesturing to the bins before her, "Extend your hand, and when something catches your fancy, lemme know."

It took about forty minutes, but eventually Bella found a core and a dole blank that matched her.

A White River Monster Spine core, which was incredibly rare and desired by many, and a Cherry Wood body, twelve inches, springy and playful in nature. All she had to do was wait for her blood sacrifice to soak through its core for her wand to be completed, she could hardly wait.

Harri's wand was, much to her lack of surprise, special. Her core was a dual one, which wasn't unheard of but was also quite rare. The primary core was a tail feather from a Thunderbird that went by the name 'Frank', twined about it was a hair from a Thestrals's tail, both soaked in her own blood sacrifice.

The core was set in a wand crafted of ebony chaised with filigree wrought from Cold Iron to act as a limiter of sorts, the meteoric metal dimly reflecting the light that the obsidian wood absorbed.

Harri would likely have been unsettled by this if she wasn't jaded as hell to begin with, funny how that works.

Orders made, the pair of young witches returned to their hotel to find a half dressed and very drunk Tonks holding up a bottle of wine and cassette tape while grinning widely.

"Who wants to get drunker with me and watch Ghost?!"

It was going to be a very fun week, Harri decided then and there.


End file.
